Ah, the Marvel toy tie-in comics. Sure we all remember Rom, the Micronauts, GI Joe, and even the Transformers comic, but where's the love for Crystar, U.S. 1, the Shogun Warriors or even Team America. Alright, let's be honest a team of dirt bike riders with psychic powers who fight crime might be a tough sell even in 1982 but there they were in all their glory. Also their arch enemy is Hydra. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Today we have issue #5 almost halfway through Team America's run. The cover promises a spectacular solo adventure for Honcho. But will it be spectacular? Let's find out.
The story begins with Team America doing what they do when they're not fighting Hydra, racing and stunt biking. By the way the title of this issue is Triple Cross! If there's going to be a triple cross maybe you don't want to give it away by making it the title of your comic.
After the show Honcho needs some time alone but a mysterious man has other ideas and tries to get the drop on him. Doesn't he know Honcho has CIA training?
Well Adrian Turner takes Honcho to what I'm pretty sure is supposed to be the Playboy Club and makes him a business proposition.
Also judging by the poor woman's face, she's just been sexually harassed by Adrian and Honcho.
Adrian explains that all the legitimate spy agencies are compromised and that he's setting up a private operation. Of course he needs Honcho for this private intelligence operation and of course Honcho says yes. Adrian may be Gandalf because his smoke ring game is on point.
Honcho tells R.U. Reddy and Wolf that he's taking off on a solo adventure and he'll see them in Austin. They notice Honcho is acting pretty surly but hey that's Honcho for you. At Adrian's secret underground base Honcho is given a bunch of tests before turning in for the night and before you ask, yes Honcho sleeps in the nude because that's how Honcho rolls. He quickly changes into his stealth Team America uniform to do a little recon. Yep, Honcho was planning on double-crossing Adrian this whole time.
Honcho uses the phone in Adrian's office to call his contact at F.B.I. headquarters. Hmmm, I wonder who will triple cross Honcho?
Adrian briefs Honcho on his mission, infiltrate a base and capture a plane transporting double agents. Honcho does it in the most stealthy manner available, by riding a dirt bike through the gates and grabbing hold of the plane's wings.
You read that right, Honcho is holding on to the plane's wings with his super magnets. Honcho climbs to the windscreen breaks it with his helmet and enters the plane.
He hijacks the plane and lands it at Adrian's base. That's when Adrian spills the beans about what's really going on. Yep he's only in it for the money and sending the Soviets back evidently pays the bills.
And what do you know here's Honcho's FBI contact with the triple cross, it turns out the F.B.I. threw him out years ago. Except, of course earlier in the book when he answered the phone at F.B.I. Headquarters.
That's just insulting to your readers.
Honcho is tied up, put in the basement of a building with a bomb in it, and they decide to flood the basement too. Seems like overkill but whatever, I mean I want Honcho dead as much as the next guy but they have guns don't they.
While Honcho drowns, the bad guys prepare to make their escape when who shows up but Team America's psychic projection the Marauder.
The Marauder jumps his motorcycle into the the windshield of the bad guys truck (which believe it or not, almost happened to me one time) frees the captives, knocks out some baddies, and takes off.
Meanwhile, Reddy and Wolf show up chasing Adrian into Honcho's waiting fists. Instead of running for the hills Honcho is going to defuse the bomb.
Give the writers credit, they at least give an explanation as why Honcho is defusing the bomb. There's sweat and then there's Honcho sweat.
The bomb defused Team America ride off into the sunset. The End.
You know what, it's real easy to rag on Team America but let's face it this was forced on the creative team. I'm sure Bill Mantlo never said 'hey you know that toy line that used Evel Knievel before he got sent to jail we should do a comic about that.' No, this was a write it or else assignment and it reads like one.
I love that Wrench has a poster of himself on the wall. That's a baller move there.
In the letters page Brian Nelson of Arlington Virginia says what we've all been thinking.
Three of these comics have movies.
Listen up Marvel here's a crazy but good suggestion. Make Kat Dennings Spider-Woman, Darcy Lewis adopts the alias Jessica Drew to fight crime but she's got a sense of humor about it.
Comic book conventions: To my eyes it seems like NYC was the place to be; a pity it was such a dump in 1982.
Remember Hercules' early 80s miniseries where he goes to space? Sure you do. It's the one where Herc's plan to defeat Galactus was get him drunk. Well Bob Layton was evidently pretty psyched about it.
Empire Strikes Back for the Atari, I have vague memories of this being a bad Defender rip-off.
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